I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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