I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
