I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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