i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
