YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize