I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
