You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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