"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
