She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize