Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Drunk is not a location!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
