Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize