I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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