I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
