So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
