Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
