i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
