Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
