It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize