I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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