Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
