My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
