covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
