just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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