I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
