My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
