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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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