When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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