You're completely useless in the revolution.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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