your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
