I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
this boner is exhausting
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
