Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
