At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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