i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
