Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
