that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
