i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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