well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
