just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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