I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
