so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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