Jerry, you need to find god
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
