This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
