all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
