i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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