there's paper in my vomit.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
