some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
where am i from again
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
