There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
