Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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