My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
