it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
