I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Come see our sink grown plant.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
