I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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