U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
