therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
