well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Someone came in the potted fern
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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