there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
