Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
