seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
