thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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