hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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