like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
