So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
