are you so shy because you have an std?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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