i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
