What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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