That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Holy sore nipples Batman
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
