Umm I'm too high to move.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
