'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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