My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
