the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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