I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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