How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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