But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Text me some of your sweat
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
