i think my tv is drunk
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
