how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
