How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
