She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
