She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
