He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
